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Thursday, 3 October 2013

Diagnosis!

Finally!

After a year or more of waiting, I have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.

So. Aspie. Just as I had thought, hoped and feared.

And while it comes as a tremendous relief, it is also tinged with sadness as I know I can never be "normal". but then what is normal other than the average you get when you throw all elements of a sample together and find what is in the middle. No-one necessarily fulfils the criteria of normality perfectly, I am just farther from it than other people.

And in a lot of ways this is a good thing. I have a name for my little box, I can study it and I can become more self-aware. There are many other people who don't have this privilege; other people that don't have a ready-build support society both online and offline to assist in any adjustments and give advice.

I had always intended to "out" myself once I was diagnosed, no longer using the anonymousaspie handle and just using my own name (or at least my own picture), but over the last year I've become quite used to being A2, and to be honest I do still want some level of anonymity.  As some people have observed to me, much of my blog is very personal and brutally honest.  I know some of it would shock and upset my wife, and I don't really want to do that, so for the moment, so that I can continue writing with complete freedom, I'm going to stick to being anonymous.

What comes next?

Well, basically, nothing. Life goes on. I tell people who I feel need to know, I look into what support mechanisms exist and see if they would help me.  But in essence nothing changes other than I have the confidence of knowing who and what I am and where that puts me in relation to the rest of the world.

I can't actually imagine a more positive outcome than this.




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